Recently we have been talking about the limitations of
labels and how the use of language has limited our ability to communicate. It
seems odd that Language may limit our communication, yet it does and it does so
under the radar of conscious awareness. A week or so ago we were investigating separatism
and how living in isolation separates us from all that life can offer. I of
course, rejected this concept on the basis that I do not live in isolation, how
wrong I am.
We humans have a rational brain capable of analysis and independent
thoughts. It is also a difference engine, one that has a tendency to
identify things as different from ourselves, separating us from that thing. This
tendency is natural and important for survival in identifying risk to
ourselves, self preservation. Ok, so what, well add labels to that, language.
Now look around and see what we have labelled as different. How many things or
people do you separate out as being different? It gets better, how much of our
behaviour is governed by social norms of acceptability. How freely can we
actually express ourselves without crossing boundaries of social conservatism
before running the risk of being labelled extremist or eccentric or just plain different
or weird?
There is no such thing, my friends, there is no normality,
no average and conservatism is another label like mediocrity or average. I am a
normal person, sorry, I am anything but normal, and that also holds true for my
lovely partner and everyone I come into contact with. We each have our own
personality, or special gift, our song to sing, or sculpture to carve, or bride
to build. We each have our own faults also, yes! Are they faults, or are they
aspects of ourselves that we have identified (labelled) as being below or
different from the standard based on our own interpretation or opinion of what
is normal.
How many so called weaknesses have we hidden away to avoid shame
or embarrassment? Now, ask yourself, how many times have I hidden away that talent,
that spark of brilliance, that uniqueness that is our true note for the same
reason? Now ask yourself, how many of them are the same thing. How many of our
so called weaknesses are also strengths.
Where I am going with this is to state that we identify what
is comfortable, what is acceptable, and what is permissible at an early age, and
then we proceed to build a life to fit this model of our selves so that we fit
in. Yes, so that we conform to what we understand is the conservative normality.
We also treat with suspension anything that is outside of that normality.
Today I was part of a conversation where religion was the
topic, and how peoples of that religion are all to be regarded with suspicion because
they are different to us. That is an extreme example, and to be fare it was not
a heated discussion, but it was an extreme example of how we label others, by
religion, politics, nationality, and colour. They are all labels that separate
us from them, but what is really happening is that we are isolating ourselves
from them, from life itself by labelling things as different.
I invite you to turn that difference engine around and look
for similarities, better yet turn it off all together and seek not to differentiate
at all. Simply be with what is.
I may live by a different book of beliefs than you, speak a
different language, be a different colour, even be too conservative for your
taste, or not conservative enough. Live and let live. OK we got that far, now
can we apply the same philosophy to ourselves from the inside out. Can we live
as we truly are regardless of the perceived social constraints? I am not suggesting
anarchy, no, I am however recommending that we all investigate the labels we
use to define who we are and how far we are prepared to go and how they control
our true nature and camouflage themselves as inhibitions, or prohibitions on
expression.
Tolerance of others is important but pointless if we just tolerate
the difference. We must have the presence of mind to be as we are and full
unconditional acceptance of others. This can be achieved by being present and allowing
life to unfold around us. As long as we are harmless and work together as a
community of lives then we may have a chance.