Conservatism

Recently we have been talking about the limitations of labels and how the use of language has limited our ability to communicate. It seems odd that Language may limit our communication, yet it does and it does so under the radar of conscious awareness. A week or so ago we were investigating separatism and how living in isolation separates us from all that life can offer. I of course, rejected this concept on the basis that I do not live in isolation, how wrong I am.

We humans have a rational brain capable of analysis and independent thoughts. It is also a difference engine, one that has a tendency to identify things as different from ourselves, separating us from that thing. This tendency is natural and important for survival in identifying risk to ourselves, self preservation. Ok, so what, well add labels to that, language. Now look around and see what we have labelled as different. How many things or people do you separate out as being different? It gets better, how much of our behaviour is governed by social norms of acceptability. How freely can we actually express ourselves without crossing boundaries of social conservatism before running the risk of being labelled extremist or eccentric or just plain different or weird?

There is no such thing, my friends, there is no normality, no average and conservatism is another label like mediocrity or average. I am a normal person, sorry, I am anything but normal, and that also holds true for my lovely partner and everyone I come into contact with. We each have our own personality, or special gift, our song to sing, or sculpture to carve, or bride to build. We each have our own faults also, yes! Are they faults, or are they aspects of ourselves that we have identified (labelled) as being below or different from the standard based on our own interpretation or opinion of what is normal.

How many so called weaknesses have we hidden away to avoid shame or embarrassment? Now, ask yourself, how many times have I hidden away that talent, that spark of brilliance, that uniqueness that is our true note for the same reason? Now ask yourself, how many of them are the same thing. How many of our so called weaknesses are also strengths.

Where I am going with this is to state that we identify what is comfortable, what is acceptable, and what is permissible at an early age, and then we proceed to build a life to fit this model of our selves so that we fit in. Yes, so that we conform to what we understand is the conservative normality. We also treat with suspension anything that is outside of that normality.

Today I was part of a conversation where religion was the topic, and how peoples of that religion are all to be regarded with suspicion because they are different to us. That is an extreme example, and to be fare it was not a heated discussion, but it was an extreme example of how we label others, by religion, politics, nationality, and colour. They are all labels that separate us from them, but what is really happening is that we are isolating ourselves from them, from life itself by labelling things as different.

I invite you to turn that difference engine around and look for similarities, better yet turn it off all together and seek not to differentiate at all. Simply be with what is.

I may live by a different book of beliefs than you, speak a different language, be a different colour, even be too conservative for your taste, or not conservative enough. Live and let live. OK we got that far, now can we apply the same philosophy to ourselves from the inside out. Can we live as we truly are regardless of the perceived social constraints? I am not suggesting anarchy, no, I am however recommending that we all investigate the labels we use to define who we are and how far we are prepared to go and how they control our true nature and camouflage themselves as inhibitions, or prohibitions on expression.

Tolerance of others is important but pointless if we just tolerate the difference. We must have the presence of mind to be as we are and full unconditional acceptance of others. This can be achieved by being present and allowing life to unfold around us. As long as we are harmless and work together as a community of lives then we may have a chance.

Perception

Perception seems to be the topic of the day and indeed of this current moon cycle. We have been talking about our own perception. This is an involved and complex maze of different aspects for such an innocent little word so let me see if we can unfold part of it.

At the very tip of perception is interpretation and conception or misconception, or perception with a distorted base upon which one concludes what another is meaning. Communication especially verbal interactive communication is fraught with hazards, yet even the written word lacks in the conveyance of a story. Ever read a book then watched the film. We may hear accurately then bundle it up to fit with our current model of how things are perceived and toss whatever does not
fit.

Moving now to a more abstract view of perception and we step into how so called Facts are accepted by the majority until someone or something challenges that fact, which puts a fact into category of ‘a commonly accepted belief’. For instance does the sun revolve around the earth or does the earth revolve around the sun? Galileo challenged that belief, but I personally have no evidence to form an accurate opinion either way, the only thing I know for sure is that the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, but so does the moon. So what you may ask, and indeed you may for we accept many things as given, a given reality of the way things are and therefore accept the information that is passed to us without question. Oh you say but I do question it, I say, do you, do I? We are surrounded with many schools of thought all proclaiming to be the truth, yet within each are contradictions of the others. Religion, Philosophy, Science, Art, Education, Construction, Architecture (ouch), the list goes on. We see or hear things and accept that which support our own perception. Thus we form an opinion of ‘what is’ based on the information we have that supports our opinion, but do we ever re-evaluate the perception.

Now I’m going to put this on a personal footing, for this I think is where the real value is. Perception of myself, who I am and how others perceive me, note here the mismatch, my perception of how others perceive me. Think about that for a moment and consider how much of your own perception is based on the perceived perception of others. How much of it is accepted belief and how much is a distortion of reality? I have just figured out that my entire life to date has been walked with a distorted reality identified and conditioned within the first seven years, supported by the next seven, and by the age of twenty one it was so ingrained in my belief system that I had accepted this reality as fact and thus it could not be changed. ‘Just do the best you can with the tools/lot/cards you have’. The original seed was fact or reality, but the perception and resulting compensatory reaction to it by others coloured their perception and behaviour and thus my perception of reality.

This is a complete distortion of reality, served up by well meaning and loving family members including extended family and friends. We can see this with actors being type cased into a specific roll, public perception of a persona locks an actor into one and only one roll and is very difficult to shake it off. In the process of growing up we are type cased and in my case accepted that roll as reality. So we grow up learning about the world and how we fit into it, learning how to perceive things, being guided by family and friends, who may also be operating with distorted perception.
As we walk through life we are occasionally presented with a ‘life challenge’, well I am, anyway, it is important that we walk through those challenges, be they personal, relationship or professional. If we have a perception of ourselves that prevents or inhibits us from walking through these challenges then the perception itself is the challenge. Whether we succeed or fail in the challenge is actually irrelevant, the success is in having walked through it, the outcome is secondary.

The main point to all this and I do think there is one, is that any perception that limits or stops us from walking through a challenge needs to be discarded. Easier said than done, yes, but so is walking through a life challenge, but walk it we must, it may be that dropping a limiting belief of ourselves is the lesson or just a bonus. Question, then your own perception, especially the ones that limit you or distract you from walking your path, question every perception, is it reality or not, does it exist without my belief in it, can it be contradicted, countered, challenge.

There may be more to this that first meets the conscious brain, after all consider the power of phobias. We all accept these as cases of a distorted belief, yet near impossible for the person afflicted by such a belief to just consciously decide otherwise. These are unconscious or subliminal beliefs operating here and not something I’m qualified to comment on, only as far as this is an extreme example of a limiting perception or belief, one that limits the full expression of the self. Some of these limitations or perceptions may be hidden, subliminal, the point being examine even the resistance to something, it may be a false or distorted perception that limits us.

All of these distorted perceptions or false beliefs may in fact be fear based on something that the instinctual animal man needs for survival. Ask yourself ‘Is it fear that stops me?’, and if the answer is yes then walk through it, my friend, because the very belief that stops us, may be transformed into a strength. Easier said than done I know, but facing the fear, challenging the belief has got to be easier that being paralysed by it.